Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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