i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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