You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
