If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
