we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
