She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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