..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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