okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
