Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize