I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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