Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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