oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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