I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize