In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize