take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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