dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
