Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
