your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
