he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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