Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
