Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
do herpes really smell.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
