Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
