when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
