My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
