Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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