I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
