He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
