I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize