my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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