Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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