The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize