do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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