We need to rekindle our bromance
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
