dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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