That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
