laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
