Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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