I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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