You can't special order awesome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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