Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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