I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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