All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
