And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
