I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
its liver damage thursday
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
