She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
