Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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