Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
