go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
