Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
