We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
