I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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