your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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