I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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