Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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