I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
